This ties in to my previous post. I was reading a wonderful blog I discovered and found this new entry today: http://manolobig.com/2008/02/20/the-big-question-hey-fat-girl-youre-fat/
I wonder just how many women are victim to this every day? It hasn't happened to me in awhile. Maybe I'm just lucky or maybe I've just not heard. I really wish we lived in a world that was more tolerant of people who are 'different'.
I am glamour/nude photographer. I photograph a lot of beautiful women. Most of them are thin. That's not completely by choice. It just happens to be the majority of models I meet. I have to wonder, sometimes, if I am not helping to promote some sort of unrealistic body image. Of course, I don't airbrush my photos to make the girls look THINNER and the only 'imperfections' I remove are blemishes (zits) and whitening teeth.
Maybe I should be actively seeking 'larger' models? Hmm, something to ponder. I think a new project just came to mind. I'll post more on that later.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I'm fat, so there.
I said it. I'm fat. I am trying to learn not to be ashamed of being fat. It's difficult though, at the best of times.
People look at you differently when you are fat. People treat you differently when you are fat. Sometimes, it's as if you are less than a person and people feel they can say whatever they want to you. It won't matter, you're fat!
Several years ago, I was living in New York City and working in an office in Penn Station. Downstairs was a conveniently located K-mart. It was Halloween and the company I worked for sent me down to buy some candy for the reception desk. No big deal, really, until I got to the check out stand.
The cashier (who was thin as a stick, I might add) looked at the candy, then she looked at me, and back to the candy. "Is all this for you?" she asked with a distinct tone of disdain. Instead of explaining it to her (and I am sure she would not have believed me anyway), I snapped at her to mind her own business, paid for the candy and was brave enough to find a manager. The manger, at least, had the grace to act appalled. Maybe she was. I'd like to think so.
People never think to ask the thin girl 'are you sure you should be eating that?'. Instead they laugh and say "oh how cute, she just ate an entire pizza by herself". Nevermind it's not a healthy practice whether you weigh 115 pounds or 300. People automatically associate 'thin' with 'healthy'. It is possible to be a thin person and be every bit as unhealthy and at risk as someone who is obese (though, perhaps, with different things). Most people don't think about that.
Me? I am unhealthy. My doctor is concerned. Hell, I am concerned. I know I will never be skinny again. It's not a goal for me. I do want to be healthy again, however. I don't want to worry about keeling over from a heart attack, or having a stroke, or any of the other zillion things that could happen to me all because I am fat.
In the process, I need to learn to love my body. I'm trying, I really am. Right now, I hate it. I know as long as I hate it, I'll never get to where I need to be. Healthy, not skinny. I just don't know where to start.
People look at you differently when you are fat. People treat you differently when you are fat. Sometimes, it's as if you are less than a person and people feel they can say whatever they want to you. It won't matter, you're fat!
Several years ago, I was living in New York City and working in an office in Penn Station. Downstairs was a conveniently located K-mart. It was Halloween and the company I worked for sent me down to buy some candy for the reception desk. No big deal, really, until I got to the check out stand.
The cashier (who was thin as a stick, I might add) looked at the candy, then she looked at me, and back to the candy. "Is all this for you?" she asked with a distinct tone of disdain. Instead of explaining it to her (and I am sure she would not have believed me anyway), I snapped at her to mind her own business, paid for the candy and was brave enough to find a manager. The manger, at least, had the grace to act appalled. Maybe she was. I'd like to think so.
People never think to ask the thin girl 'are you sure you should be eating that?'. Instead they laugh and say "oh how cute, she just ate an entire pizza by herself". Nevermind it's not a healthy practice whether you weigh 115 pounds or 300. People automatically associate 'thin' with 'healthy'. It is possible to be a thin person and be every bit as unhealthy and at risk as someone who is obese (though, perhaps, with different things). Most people don't think about that.
Me? I am unhealthy. My doctor is concerned. Hell, I am concerned. I know I will never be skinny again. It's not a goal for me. I do want to be healthy again, however. I don't want to worry about keeling over from a heart attack, or having a stroke, or any of the other zillion things that could happen to me all because I am fat.
In the process, I need to learn to love my body. I'm trying, I really am. Right now, I hate it. I know as long as I hate it, I'll never get to where I need to be. Healthy, not skinny. I just don't know where to start.
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